Wednesday, February 09, 2005
she didn't even have a chance. found this on friendster.
Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now...I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days,I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened. Av ery mean Monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please! Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying, I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't, all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know thewords you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me away to a wonderful place. Then I was happy. I asked the angel what was the thing was that killed me.
He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is, I guess that's the name of the monster.I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love,
Your Baby Girl
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a fren of mine posted dat on friendster. i read it before. but somehow it got me fucking depressed again.
haiz. i went to the park. and i sat on the beach, leaning against a tree, practically the whole day. the sand between my toes, the wind, laughter, everything was just so peaceful. a lot of time to think.
a lot.
our talk. my sleepy-ness. your enthu-ness. the late-ness. haha.
ah well. goodnight.
# a child is a gift from God.
22:52
