ooh one whole week has passed since my laz entry.

let's see...wat happened?

boring week wif a few highlights. esp friday. lots and lots of laughs. haha.

finally watched constantine!! keanu reeves is sooo hot. when he made his appearance, i swear all e girls juz went *sigh*...myself included. haha. couldn't help it la.

movies i wanna watch...

1. ms congeniality 2
2. spongebob squarepants movie
3. a series of unfortunate events (is dat wat it's called?)

tracy finally finally finally said hi to chung cheng boy! haha. and he did his goofy smile and waved back. he's so adorable. shall say hi to him wen we see him again. wahaha.

bush fire yesterday. lots of smoke. phew~

fire engines, civil defence were still at the site where e fire started e nxt dae. even set up a tent and all. can smell e smoke in e air.

went to dr. alfi's houz. and it was quite pathetic. cos only me, tracy, shi yun, shushu, sharon and liza turned up. and we're her form claz la. more pple from e other classes turned up. i feel bad. but aniwaes we watched shutter *click*. and it's really fun watchin horror movies in large grps. guess it's e atmosphere. woohoo.

watched drumline yest. very very cool movie. i love it! haha. i wanna buy e vcd.

watched the secretary. oh man. it is so freaky. about dis lawyer and his secretary engaging in...acts. let's juz say it involved a lot of bending over and spanking. blegh.

watched wedding singer. it's so funny. and so sweet. *swoons*

i'm watching black hawk down now. very nice. josh hartnett. orlando bloom. ewan mcgregor. all dat's missing is shane west. woot~

so basically my whole weekend was wasted away....

wouldn't haf it any other way. heh.

haha ok. shall go watch tv now. toodles~




# you see them. they see you.

I'm giving up the ghost of love
in the shadows cast on devotion

She is the one that I adore
creed of my silent suffocation

Break this bittersweet spell on me
lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet

I won't give up
I'm possessed by her

I'm bearing her cross
She's turned into my curse

Break this bittersweet spell on me
lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet

I want you
I'm only wanting you

And I need you
I'm only needing you

Break this bittersweet spell on me
lost in the arms of destiny

Break this bittersweet spell on me
lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet...


---

i love this song.

geog test tmr. and shitload of hw. and i've only done a bit.

crap.




# Break this bittersweet spell on me lost in the arms of destiny.

she didn't even have a chance. found this on friendster.



Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now...I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.

I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days,I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened. Av ery mean Monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please! Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying, I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't, all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know thewords you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.

I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me away to a wonderful place. Then I was happy. I asked the angel what was the thing was that killed me.

He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, for I know how it feels."

I don't know what abortion is, I guess that's the name of the monster.I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,

Your Baby Girl



----

a fren of mine posted dat on friendster. i read it before. but somehow it got me fucking depressed again.

haiz. i went to the park. and i sat on the beach, leaning against a tree, practically the whole day. the sand between my toes, the wind, laughter, everything was just so peaceful. a lot of time to think.

a lot.

our talk. my sleepy-ness. your enthu-ness. the late-ness. haha.

ah well. goodnight.





# a child is a gift from God.

I'm slipping away
In every way
I can't stay awake
(and I don't know why)
I'm slipping away
(and I don't know why)
I'm trying to make it through each day
I'm falling apart now in every way
I'm finding it harder to get by
There's a hole in my heart
And I don't know why
Now I've come to realize
I'm slipping away



# i'm slipping away. -Sum 41

heh don't even ask about dis. but it's funny shit la. 

sean looking bloody gay. *shivers* 

baby rayyan and my nenek.  

my darlings. ya lah...tracy looking retarded as usual. haha.  

ah rehearsal again today. which ended pretty early. very very surprising. haha. but it is welcomed.

aniwaes. it was a blast. i laughed so much la. we were lyke miming the actors. haha we knew practically all their lines esp ah ma's!!!

"wahhh these oranges (olanges) so big (beeg) ahh?!" "oh no my chicken (cheeeken) is burning!!!"

hahahaha so funny. den i had a laugh wif my juniors. gosh i think i actually LIKE some of them. haha. they're not too bad la. (some of dem aniwaes)

fuad (my junior) was being quite gross cos he kept shoving his tissue filled wif vile liquid from his pimple which burst at me. yuck. haha he is quite a lame guy. reminds me of e guys in my claz. i'm actually starting to lyke my CCA. wow . it's definitely more fun and bearable den laz yr.

hmm. din see much of CG. but saw chung cheng boy!! haha traccccyyyyyyy....he's so adorable la. esp his accent and laugh. i can't help but laugh everytime i see him. hehe. i'm so mean.

oh my brother has his first pimple. oh e joy. he's approaching puberty. dey're lyke learning about sex now in school. sheesh. PRI 5. did we learn dat too? haha.

kay dere's desperate housewives tonite. yayy.

blegh. hafta report to sch at 630 am tmr. man is dat bloody early or wat. haiz. nvm. shall go sleep early tonite(ya rite).

shall go add my juniors on friendster. ahh...i love being a senior. heh.

econs test tmrw and i haven even started studying. shit.

it's been a...weekend filled wif...thoughts mainly.

thoughts of how some things will never be possible. and how others will be inevitable.

i shld give up this foolish dream.

fuck.




# this isn't me, this isn't you, but it's just everything we do.

i want a bluetooth device.

i'm sleepy. goodnite.

money money money. i love dem. 

again baby rayyan. he looks so comfortable la. so jealous. 

baby rayyan. i love him. 

irah...haha she looks so angelic wif e light surrounding her and all.  

ameeraa! sangat cute! haha. 

crazy tracy. prepared for a day at e beach! hahaha. woot~ 

haha. funkehh~ 

my darlings... 

cool rite the shades? haha.  

FEAR ME. muahahahahaha.

i love the way you smile when you're talking,
i love the way you frown when you're thinking,
i love the way you pout when you can't remember something,
i love the way you laugh when you're gosipping.

i love the times i pass by you,
i love the times i get to see you,
i love the times i talk about you,
i love the times which have anything to do with you.



---

today was a great day. let's see....first...a friend of mine, Minah (real name will not be disclosed on request) was very unlucky during PE today. we were doing fitness and conditioning la...den doing burpies. go down den skali *RIIIIPPPP* Minah ripped her track pants!!! haha it was sooo funny i tell you. i was laughing so much. haha.

ok den e rest of day was boring until cny rehearsal. got to watch dance and ics and ccs. dance was messy again. but i was kinda distracted aniwaes. heh. ics was cool...ameera!!! hahahaha.

oh ya i feel kinda bad cos we were lyke teasing dis j1. frm chung cheng. chunsheng or somethin. i can't spell his name!! haha. he's so cute la. from china. haha.

saw CG.

and again.

and again.

and again.

you get the idea. ahh~

*two crazy girls taking pictures. "too dark..." "too farrr!"*

i LOVE my camera fone...

yep den went home ard 7. which was quite surprising cos i thot it wld end LATE, very LATE. but aniwaes got one more rehearsal on mon which i think will end super late. haiz. but nvm...got...

incentive la. (of course i'm talking abt spending more quality time wif my dearest CCAmates, right TRACY??? haha.)




CG. Cg. cG. cg.



# my heart is forever...yours. - Sense and Sensibility

A301
Adibah
Ameera
Anna
Anusha
Audrey
Cherie
Elfah
Ethel
Fariza
Has
Jaslin
Joel
Lionel
Liza
Raudah
Shiyun
Shujun
Theodora
Yulin



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