Saturday, January 22, 2005
i want the truth from you...
even if it hurts me.
we've been thru a lot, haven't we? from dat first moment i saw you. till now. it's been more than a year...close to 2?
and now...i guess it's meaningless for me to keep going on and on about you, me, us. wat we had, wat we could have had and wat we will never have.
instead...i wanna forget. but i know it's gonna be tough. especially wif that painful reminder i haf to face everyday. but i'm gonna try. and even if i fail...at least i know, since i tried...i'm getting over everything.
maybe you may think i'm juz afraid of starting again. and guess what? you're right. maybe i'm afraid of the hurt and pain i might feel in the future. you promise nothing bad will happen. but how do you know nothing bad will happen?
you may ask me how i noe something bad will happen? let's juz say...i learn from my mistakes. and pple lyke you...will never change.
you may think i'm being a bitch about it. but think back on what you did. and put yourself in my shoes. would you still think the same?
today, we talked about marriages and relationships. and i realised...maybe i dun wanna be committed to anyone. i dun wanna be tied down. and more imptly, i dun tink i can ever fall in love. call me cynical...but love...is juz another four letter word. pple may think dey noe what love is...but who knows the true meaning of love when it's so loosely used nowadays?
maybe i'm young and haf no experience. so what right do i haf to talk about love?
not being able to sleep without thinking of you. always looking forward to your smses and phone calls. your smile lighting up my dark and depressed world. your laugh still in my mind even after days of not hearing it. each tear that you shed, like a thousand knives stabbing at my heart. thinking about our times together, getting me through my darkest days. knowing without you in my life would be meaningless. wishing time and time again things hadn't turned out so bad.
do all these run in the mind of someone in love?
did it happen to you? did you fall in love?
did it all mean anything to you?
you say it did...
but maybe...
it just wasn't enough. or maybe...it was just too much. i'm sorry.
01:24
