Thursday, December 09, 2004
you and me lying on the beautiful beach in the dead of the night, only the sounds of us breathing and the waves crashing onto shore. watching the clouds and the amazing full moon, shining down on us, surrounded by the twinkling stars.
and suddenly, you start singing 'twinkle twinkle little star' and halfway, you stop and laugh softly. i smile, and we both see a shooting star.
you get all excited and force me to close my eyes and wish for something.
and you ask me what i wished for.
silly you. it won't come true if i tell you.
you put your hand in mine and you smile at me. dat smile again. dat perfect beautiful smile...
you told me once it was just for me...
i close my eyes, enjoying the warmth emanating from you, enjoying the smell of the salty sea air, the feel of your hand in mine...
ahh perfect.
and when i open them again, i see the dull white of my ceiling. it was all a dream...
and all we had was...
a fucking dream too? well if it was...it was a very good dream.
feelings bubbling inside me. the oh so familiar feeling of rage and sadness...the bitterness, the hate...the love...the resentment...and the acceptance. the confusion...all the feelings...and i juz wanna...
SCREAM.
i wanna cry hit something. i wanna hurl insults and all sorts of curses at you...i wanna call u a fucking asshole. a bitch. a slut. anything.
but in the end, if i were to ever look at your face again, i know i could never hurt you.
i could never fucking hate you either. oh fuck it all.
and i close my eyes again. thinking of my wish....
...wondering if it will come true now.
my wish is.....
my secret. silly you. shhh.
= i don't want to forget =
01:32
