Thursday, September 30, 2004
singapore idol...watching it now. mite as well gif a running commentary since i'm so freakin bored. haha...
leandra...hmm her voice is pretty nice. tho e song din show off her vocal range. she's pretty sweet looking.
(oh by e way...what the hell is florence wearing?? she's lyke wearing a net with roses on it or something. hahahahha)
next is jerry ong. his voice sucks by e way. e song was boring and his voice was pretty monotonous. no feeling lah.
ooh look it's christopher lee who apparently is in e final 12 cos of his looks. but he looks pretty normal to me...i guess it's e clean cut 'boyboy' look. hahahah...his voice is kinda shaky. i dun tink he has e control needed for a josh groban song. haha..
maia is up...i tink her last performance was shit lah. she sang crazy in love...and i was lyke cringing when she went o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...hahaahaha...this performance ain't kicking either. her voice is juz normal to me lah.
i tink a lot of e contestants who din get in e final 12 are better den e final 12. but e judges totally go for looks. bias sia. i mean compared to american idol. it's so totally different. e winners of american idol all had amazing voices(their looks din matter) but s'pore idol ar...got nuttin to say man. i mean check out e unsung heroes...dat girl. lina izzit? e one who sang somewhere over e rainbow. lol. her voice was awesome.
ooh taufik. i lyke him. his voice is nice. he's singing everything i do, i do it for you. and i tink his voice is pretty suited for this slow ballads. "open sincere personality"...according to florence. haha...omg ken actually praised him!!! hahahahaha...
hMm beverly now. her voice is very diva-ish. today a bit off key lah some parts. haha...but overall she got nice voice. but i tink her voice dun suit dis song. better if she sang those power ballads. diva lah wat to do...eek off key again.
david yeo now. dis guy, i feel, has a very irritating face. haha...but his voice is strong. got control. according to dick lee...a bit monotonous. ex ah beng! lol. hahahaha. oh god. he's freaking lame. "worldpeaceworldpeace!" sheEsh. no wonder i dun lyke him. haha.
daphne khoo. she's cute lah. lots of energy. and her voice is pretty nice. sheesh she's abt my age and she's rocking the idol stage while i'm sitting here, studying lyke a demented person. haha. e jugdes seem to lyke her enuff. man...ken is all about e superstar image. can't stand it. why e need to conform to a single image? haha.
jeassea's up next. i lyke her. pretty. her voice is damn nice. e start is a bit shaky. i tink she's more suited for upbeat diva-ish songs. haha...she doesn't sound too good wif dis slow song. a bit off key sia.
olinda. she's so tomboyish lah. haha. funny. her voice is amazing man. got dis husky quality to it...she sounds nice when she sings those old songs. i lyke her too. very funkeh. haha...
hey it's sylvester. he's so adorable lah! it's lyke after dat comment from ken about him not smiling enuff...he has to remember to smile during e performance. hahahhaha...nv noticed his nose piercing. lol. his voice is ok i guess...but he got dat singlish drawl to his voice. he's so cute when he smiles! hahahhahahaha.
ehhhh...i thot it was 12 contestants. only 11 ar. haha...din dey lyke pick an extra person?? lol. watever.
finally it's ended. i tink i'll vote. either for taufik, sylvester, daphne or olinda lah. 50 cents per sms leh. no money to vote for all of dem. hahahhaa.
i din go to sch today. and since i din go to sch today...i stayed up all nite to study. slept at ard 7 am when everyone else was going to sch. hahaha...only had 3 hrs of sleep cos my dad brought me to e doc at ard 10 or 11. hAiz. shall stay up again tonite cos apparently e J1s dun hafta come to sch tmrw. hahahhaha...i tink it's cos of e high rate of absenteeism (is dat how u spell it? lol)
aniwaes...
HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!!
to everyone!
and congrats to my cuz...getting married tmrw. so sorry i can't go. but i wish you all e best in the future wif ur darling. haha. *muacKz*
oh well shall go watch e news now.
"You're just too good to be true...can't take my eyes off you."
20:14
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
dreams that i'm dying...
but jules says it means i'm gonna start anew...
start j1 anew? sheesh...it's a possibility.
3 more days to our first paper...
"hello". "hello". "who's this?" "kak zana?" "wrong number." "who's this?" --she hung up on me.
"hello". "hello". "who's this?" "wrong number lah." "who's this?" "who's this?"--she hung up on me again.
same conversation in chinese...thanks to tracy. ahhahahhahaha...
ameera answers.
haur shen answers.
tracy answers again.
haha.
"hello?" "hello." "who's this?" "i'm telling, you haf e wrong number!" "kak zana?" "wrong number". "hani eh?" "WRONG NUMBER!(asshole)". -- HE gave up.
it continues thruout e day. i'm guessing kak zana diverted her calls wrongly. headache man. hahahhaa...
ms teen usa is on tv. allnotprettywhatthehellaretheythinking?
but hawaii's pretty. sweet. but lots of dem are...juz lyke jasmine trias. lol. american idols comin to s'pore. during our promos. dammit.
and so is sum 41. fuck.
i love you dee. haha.
tracy....can't wait to see your hair. wish u hadn't cut it tho. lol.
flora...u rock. thanx for e dedication. *cute* hahaha...
and to you: u r too cute. hahah. *muaCKz*
"dunnowhatiwoulddowithoutyou."
22:43
Monday, September 27, 2004
he irritates me. a lot.
hMm today was pretty interesting. it was a bit slow at first...den we took our claz photo. so not fun. kinda rushed man. haIz...
econs was ok. fun even. haha.
the movie we watched during gp rocked. it's called 'devil's backbone' and it's a horror movie. setting is in spain. it's freakin creepy...not juz e ghost man. actually e ghost wasn't dat big a deal. haha. it was more e blood and gore. man...u juz hafta watch e movie. and it's so sad. i hate dat julinco (is dat his name? lol)...he is a total bastard man. but i love jaime (joel...haha) cos he's juz so....so....cute and decent lah. hahahha...carlo is so cute too. hAiz...i love e way dey speak. e language is amazing. haha...
i'm so screwed for promos. but i wld lyke to wish good luck to all my frens taking their promos, a levels, o levels soon. haha. at least we're all suffering together. *mUacKz*
"dunno why i never realised this earlier. he drives me nuts."
20:15
Friday, September 24, 2004
i feel...
tired.
mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally...everything-ally...i feel lyke i've been holding back on a lifetime's worth of tears and i juz can't cry. cos if i do...what will i feel? sadness, loneliness, depression? feel better? right...
it's e start of e weekend. but...it doesn't feel any different.
i went to sch today, feeling a little crappy but soon got over it. then...we cld go home earlier today...but i decided to stay wif FLORA (haha) to wait for e others who were havin chinese. and me, tracy, jules, flora and delon went home 2gether...and when i got off e bus and was walking to e lift...i felt so...
tired.
i dunno...i juz suddenly felt lyke i hadn't slept in so many days...and it's true...i guess i haven been sleeping. i dunno why...juz been spending e laz few days staring up at e ceiling, trying to sleep...but juz never sleeping.
e fighting is on an all time high...we are seriously becoming strangers. total strangers. it is draining. and exhausting juz thinking abt it.
and of course i realise promos are a week away. and dere's juz so much to study...me and flora were talking abt promos juz now...and e idea of being retained...somethin we both haf never had to worry abt...i mean you always get promoted...back in pri sch, sec sch...
and now...i really do feel i will be retained. e possibility is juz so...real. so "in your face"...and it could juz happen to me. i guess sometimes i feel i've nv gotten used to e jc system even until now.
and my family pins all these hopes on me...which are juz so...depressing when i tink abt it. my dad's always saying i'm e first one from his side to actually go to a jc...all my cuzs went to polys...and sumtimes i wish i had gone to poly too...and i wouldn't hafta feel so freakin guilty everytime he says dat...
my bro...yeah he may be a pain in e ass (a lot)...but he's still my little brother. and i feel i haven been trying hard enuff to help him in his studies....and i'm always telling him to go away and leave me alone...but dat's something which prob won't change. haha.
and my mom...words are not enuff to describe her i guess...she works so hard juz to make sure i haf enuff money for school...dere's juz some little things she does...lyke...telling me to sleep cos it's so late...and juz...being there....and all i wanna do is give her e most amazing life i can. and to do dat...i gotta finish jc...i gotta go to the U...and i gotta get a good job so i can buy her dat houz...so i can gif her dat monthly allowance...and tell her...sit back and relax, mommy...
"i'll take care of you now..."
and my grandma...i love her so much. and i noe she's so proud of me for making it to a jc...whenever i go out wif her, and she's talking to e shopkeeper...she'll proudly declare...
my granddaughter's in a jc...
and i wanna give her e best too...drive her around so she can go shopping...give her money every month too...and i truly don't want to dissapoint her.
and my relatives...
i don't want to dissapoint them.
tired. but i juz can't sleep. studystudystudystudy. i should.
freakin procrastinator. fuck everything.
"tired and depressed. economics.geog.literature.generalpaper.malay. so tired."
22:05
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
watching titanic now...and it's e scene where jack is in e freezing water and rose on the door.
e ending is dumb...but e saddest part of the movie is probably when dat string quartet plays and dey show e two old pple in bed, e two kids and e mother, etc. so sad...
today was pretty ok. we finished at 2.45! can you believe it? hahaha..cos we moved up a lot of lessons...yeah...other den dat, nothing much happened...
oh yah...of course dere's e whole basketball incident in e morning. details can be found on e claz blog ...hahaa.
Rindu Serindu-rindunya
Berikanlah jawapan
Huraikanlah simpulan
Biar tenang jiwaku
Setelah kasih lama berlalu
Tidak mungkin ku lupa
Perjanjian kita
Di bawah rumpun bambu
Di kala bulan sedang beradu
Mengapa terjadi perpisahan ini
Di kala asmara menebar sayapnya
Mengapa kau pergi di saat begini
Di kala hatiku tertulis namamu
Kalau memang tiada jodoh
Apa lagi nak ku heboh
Aku malu pada teman
Pada semua
Rindu... rindu serindu-rindunya
Namun engkau tak mengerti
Pilu... pilu sepilu-pilunya...
Namun engkau tak peduli
Malu.. semalu-malunya
Namun apa daya
Orang tak sudi
Mahu.. semahu-mahunya
Namun apa daya
Orang dah benci
Mengapa terjadi perpisahan ini
Di kala asmara menebar sayapnya
Mengapa kau pergi di saat begini
Di kala hatiku tertulis namamu
Kalau memang tiada jodoh
Apa lagi nak ku heboh
Aku malu pada teman
Pada semua
Rindu... rindu serindu-rindunya
Namun engkau tak mengerti
Pilu... pilu sepilu-pilunya...
Namun engkau tak peduli
Malu.. semalu-malunya
Namun apa daya
Orang tak sudi
Mahu.. semahu-mahunya
Namun apa daya
Orang dah benci
Berikanlah jawapan
Huraikanlah simpulan
Biar tenang jiwaku
Aku malu
"don't you do that. don't you say your goodbyes...i'll never let go, jack, i'll never let go." ::Titanic::
23:22
Sunday, September 19, 2004
he is so fucking irritating....he managed to piss me off wif one fucking sentence.
it took me all my self control to not throw e remote control dat was in my hand...wat a fucking bastard. he feels he's so fucking superior and so fucking knowledgeable...fuck it.
ARGH!!!!!!
jerk. asshole. bastard. shithead. asswipe. dickhead.
haiz...
"don't even say a word. just don't."
01:06
Thursday, September 16, 2004
oh man time is passing so fast....soon enough it'll be time for promos...and i'm sooo not ready for it.
wed i went to study wif tracy and jules at changi airport and u noe wat? i found out popeye's moved to terminal 1...hahaha...*anu you and i shall go one day...after promos dat is!*
aniwaes we studied a bit...talked a lot...basically a *LOT* of bitching going on...haha i love hanging out wif e claz. dey *lurve* gossiping! hahahaha...
hMm u noe? econs is so much more...interesting now. hahhahhaha...she actually acknowledges my presence in claz u noe...and keeps looking at me. it's such a shift from e classes laz time. i haf a feeling she read my blog man...hahahhaha...
watching s'pore idol now...actually some of dem haf nice voices. dat beverly girl is nice...den i can't rem d other girl's name....haha...i'm watchin benjamin eio and he sooooo can't dance. so funny!!!!! hahahahhaha...and his voice not dat kicking man...hahaha...
malay has been torturous...we've been doing millions of papers from other schs(k mebbe juz 3...haha...) and i use up so much foolscap alreadi...haha...and now i haf a compo which i hafta pass up on monday...hAiz...at least i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna fail malay for exams. hahahahaha...
mrs. chua's gonna give birth soon...wish her a safe delivery. and hope she dun stress herself out too much these next few days. she shld be at home resting actually...but she's still in school. hAiz...i can't wait to see her baby. her kids are soooo cute. hahahha...hope we can visit her in the hospital too...
i love mrs. chua. haha....
oh well...i should be doing my hw now. haIz..
"A baby is God’s way of saying the world should go on."
20:35
Monday, September 13, 2004
F.R.I.E.N.D.S *the last one* 
23:11
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
i will never ever get over the fact that it has ended. it's been so much a part of my life dat i feel lyke dere's juz something missing now. dere will be no more monday nights were i'll sit in front of the TV and watch dat opening scene before dat familiar tune...dat familiar guitar riff...and dat familiar clapping in the middle of the song...
e fountain...
e umbrellas...
e friends...
e one show which made me laugh, cry, love....
it's been 10 seasons...
and now it's over...
*rossrachelmonicaphoebechandlerjoey*
u may juz be characters on tv...but somehow...you seem real to me. and for the longest part of my life...i wished i knew you. wishing i was dere...
when rachel became a runaway bride...
when ross and rachel married...and divorced...and married...and divorced...hahahaha...
when monica and chandler got married...
standing in the snow, watching phoebe and mike getting married...
when joey was being lame..
everytime they had coffee in CENTRAL PERK
wishing i was dere...
a part of...
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
thanks for all the laughs.
thanks for all the tears.
thanks for being there.
thanks for everything.
you rock.
"i didn't want it to end...but it did."
22:39
Saturday, September 11, 2004
soooo cute!!!!!!!! i love ameera...
22:19
if my computer were a person, i would haf gone to jail a long time ago for murder.
ARGH!!!
whoever does pw must know the pain of doing a written report. and e ting dat added to the pain was dat halfway thru my WR...my comp suddenly went blank! i thot i was gonna scream and kill myself or sumthin!!! oh computer...how could you betray me so!!!!
and now...3 hours later...my eyes are about to pop out from staring at the computer screen. but i have finally finished wif e exception of evidence (pw file in sch), conclusion (entrusted delon to do dat...pleasepleasepleaseplease do it) and e bibliography (again pw file in sch)...ahhhh i feel soooo...
relieved.
haha...
aniwaes...i went to study at dis mac at kovan with theodora...and she insisted it was deserted and empty so we cld study there. BUT when we reached dere it was packed. stupid girl...but aniwaes we managed to secure a four seater table...and studied dere till 7+...
and den...
my fav aunty came over...and yes dat meant my cute, sweet, adorable little cuz...ameera!!!
it was sooooo cute...she was lyke lying down on her mom's lap on the couch...den i came home...den my mother was lyke...oh look kak sufi come home already!! den ameera suddenly sat up and started squealing...awww so cutee....my dad was lyke...wah she come home den ameera suddenly so alive. i feel so blessed to be her fav cuz! hahahhahaa...
and she's so cute...i love playing wif her. everytime she comes over, i would drop everythin i'm doing and juz spend time wif her. she's the best. she makes me feel....
great.
whatever mood i'm in will immediately change to joy. cos ameera totally rocks.
i haf decided i seriously hafta get:
1) Sum 41's new cd "Chuck"
2) Good Charlotte's new cd "Chronicles of Life and Death"
3) Promoted to J2
4) A Life!!!!
"hopelessly blissful and blind."
21:46
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
You called me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
A facade. It was all pretense. Did your walls ever come down? Did you ever let me in?
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is
You pushed me away. Again.
You're complicated. Like an art piece. Difficult to understand. To decipher. To find the true meaning behind the swirl of gray and black. But won't you let me try?
Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening
Now can't you see something's missing?
Am I asking for too much? And are you expecting too much? Is it better if...
We just learned to let go?
You forget where the heart is
Cry on my shoulder if you want...but you never did. Was I too young and foolish to have said that?
Won't you?
I'll take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
Don't push me away. I know I can't make everything ok. But it doesn't mean that everything has to be bad. You still have me. I know you're lost. In a way, so am I...but...I'll try to help you find your way.
Won't you trust me?
Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
Didn't you tell me once...we would always know when either one of us was down? I didn't understand it then...but now I do. Look at me. I'm hurting...because you're hurting too.
And how broken my heart is
You said he left you. Then she left too. They all left. But I'm still here...
So now you're leaving too?
I'll take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
You know I'm your punching bag. Hit me. Kick me. Let it all out. Let me feel your pain. I'd rather you beat me up...than...
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
The scars will always be there. To remind you. To remind me. I was I was there to bear part of the cuts and bruises...did you hold that against me? I thought....
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
Don't...don't do it again. Somehow, you managed to wear down my defenses...why won't you let me bring down yours? Let me wipe away your tears...let me teach you how to smile again.
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Don't. Walk. Away. But you did. Again. And now all I see...are memories. Of a distant past. Blurry images, hollow laughs, fake smiles...
Broken promises.
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
Maybe it's too late now...are we...too far gone? Has it been too long? Did...he destroy us?
I'll take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay
Will we ever be okay?
"An empty apartment. Just like our empty hearts."
21:41
a feeling worse then having ur loved ones die,
is when ur loved ones are alive...
but they refuse to acknowledge you.
when they treat you like you're dead.
when your relationship is as rotted as your grave.
when they leave you out of their life.
blood is thicker than water.
right.
13 years. since she...
"left."
00:39
i am fucking useless at comforting pple. i truly am. all i can say is dun cry, dun be sad...
is that why she never talks to me anymore? cos i dun haf the words to reassure her?
to her: i'm sorry. i'm just a comforting presence. just someone who'll always be there. i guess that's not good enough.
oh well.
to my friends(esp to a certain sumone i juz talked to) : i noe i'm not good at comforting pple. but i promise i'll always be here if u ever need a shoulder to cry on. if you need a person to scream at, i'm here. if you need a person to punch, i'm here. if you need a person to listen to everything that happened to you, i'm here. i'm just someone to let out ur frustrations at...w/o e replying and comforting words....just like a human blog! haha...
i've said this to anusha before. i'm lyke a sponge. i can absorb almost anything. and i'm lyke a rock. cos u can always count on me to be steady. hahhhahaha..
if you need a friend, i'm here.
"all i can say is i'll always be here for you. i hope that's good enough. i love you."
00:28
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
sometimes i wonder...why does she keep forcing me to open up to her? why does she keep trying to help me? time and time again...she asks me...am i having problems? what's wrong? why does she keep insisting on helping me? when...she never lets me in. when she never opens up to me...so why does she try to get me to open up? hypocritical? i dunno...is this her way of closing herself off to others? by trying to be everyone's guardian angel? everyone's fairy godmother? why does she bother with me when she doesn't want me to bother with her? and in the end...all she does is succeed in making me feel worse. she knows...she knows i'd rather be ignored...den be forced to tell her anything dat happened. and i notice the hurt look on her face...e one that says..."i thot i'm your friend...why won't you tell me what's wrong?" dat look which makes me feel extremely guilty and bad for letting my bad mood affect her. and i know i haf to apologise. and i do. and she tells me everything will be ok. but she doesn't even know anything.
and when she's suddenly in that bad mood...i ask her...what's wrong? nothing's wrong. everything's great. she's fine. she's got no problems. but i know there's something wrong. why doesn't she talk to me? why does she juz walk away? i asked her only once. i don't pursue the matter. i juz smile and joke as usual. but deep down inside......
it hurts.
it hurts to noe dat someone you are so close with juz...pushes you away like that. but it makes me wonder...am i the same when i'm in the same bad pissy mood? did i push her away? was my apology not enough to let her know.."hey, you can talk to me...like you always do." but she knew...she knew i didn't like to talk about my problems...at least until a few days...she knew it was easier for me to just...be ignored.
what happened to us? did we grow up? did we become so busy...that we don't even know each other anymore? did we find that many other friends? did we become so self-centred? did we drift apart so much that....... she told me once i was her confidante...her pillar of strength...someone she knew would not say anything stupid when she was crying. someone who would just be there...and now...what am i? am i juz another...acquaintance? just another friendster profile? just another......someone?
and sometimes i wonder...is it my fault? did i do something wrong? did i not try hard enough when she needed a friend? was i not there for her? should i haf insisted on knowing what was wrong with her? and i realised...maybe i am truly at fault. i allowed us to drift apart...no matter how many promises we made...i allowed us to...be so...detached. maybe i should have tried harder...i don't know. i truly don't.
if i were to ask you,
what's wrong?
would you walk away?
would you just smile?
would you tell me...nothing?
would you tell me...anything?
if you were to ask me,
what's wrong?
would i walk away?
would i just smile?
you know when i tell you...nothing,
i meant everything.
you used to know...
and now?
what's wrong?
and now when i tink about us...every single memory just chips away another piece of my heart...every single time we laughed together...just rips away another part of my soul....every single time we hugged...just makes me choke...makes it hard to breathe...every single time we stayed up to talk on the phone...for hours on end...all those times we...talked...
"it hurts."
20:47
Monday, September 06, 2004
i juz found out that some people call *her* plateface. and mooncake face. juz had to say it. had to spend a few minutes before dis laughing and rolling on the ground. haha. haha. hahahhahahahahhahaha.....
8 minutes to FRIENDS.
21:51
45 minutes to FRIENDS.
today was a good day. it cheered me up to no end. haha...aniwaes we had a lit lecture which was ok i guess..a bit boring sumtimes. haha...den me, tracy, ra and caroline went to mobil to buy LIME and i hate hilary duff!!!! haha...aniwaes me and tracy separated form ra and caro after dat cos dey had maths tutorial (2 1/2 hrs!!). so we walked to my houz...den i invited her over for a while...and so she came over. den ra called me up and said their maths tutorial was cancelled (yay!) and so i invited dem over too. and she said dey were alreadi thinking abt it...haha...rite my houz is their 3rd home.
so we were looking at blogs and friendster profiles. some people are so weird. hahaha...den we were talking abt cute guys...can't believe tracy and ra din watch the news yesterday! dey had e final results of indonesian idol and delon is so damn cute(he's the runner up btw...go see his pics if ur free)...ahhhh...but his voice not so gd. bet he was still in e competition cos he's so hot. haha...tracy and ra dun tink delon's hot tho (we went to look at his pics) but caro and me tink he's super hot. which he is. he's got dis very 'clean' look i guess. hahahha...
so aniwaes we played pyramid game after dat and OF COURSE me and tracy emerged victorious *jumps for joy*...ra and caro couldn't believe it. but i'm very good at describing and tracy's amazing at guessing. hahahhaa...wen caro describes...oh man she gets soooo hyper and starts screaming. hahahhahaha...i guess dat's y ra had some trouble guessing! hahaha...
hMm den dey went off ard 1.30ish...bathed, ate, watched TV and went to take a nap after dat.
40 minutes to FRIENDS.
i sound a bit obssessed. but i love FRIENDS!!! ahhh...
hMm can't believe it's the holidays now actually. it can't really be considered a holiday tho. dere's so many things going on. extra classes, pw, extra classes,pw, pw and pw. oh yeah how cld i forget...mugging for exams. i hafta start studying. or i'll surely be retained or kicked out. it's funny how pple keep saying dey hafta start studying or i'll study soon but never get down to it. all talk no action. haha...
oh well...can't wait for FRIENDS. shall go read the claz blog now. toodles.
"all talk no action."
21:14
Sunday, September 05, 2004
you are a fucking asshole. you know it. you don't care. you will never care. you tink you'll always control my life. well think again. i'll be gone soon enough. let's see how you're gonna control me then. don't even try. you can't. just like you couldn't with her. she will never come back. and it's all because of you. i liked her. but you drove her away. she couldn't stand you. in fact, they couldn't stand you. neither can i. you lost her. by the way, you lost me a long time ago. just like her. and you're going to lose him soon enough. he will escape you. just like her. just like how i'm going to. and all you'll have left is an amazing woman trapped and bound to you. a great woman who will never be able to escape. but we will. so you can't do anythin about it. big fucking deal. life's a bitch, get over it. just fuck off and leave me alone. i don't need the fights. i don't need the screaming and shouting. i don't need the anger. i don't need the hate. i don't need the tears.
and i definitely don't need you.
i just realised this is my 100th blog entry. what a way to use it. lol.
my cuz came over today. ameera is so cute. i love her. i feel so blessed to be able to watch her grow up. haha. *muacKz muaCkz*
not in much of a mood to say anythin else.
"you will never scream at me again. never."
19:24
Friday, September 03, 2004
lame. today was lame. very lame.
shall we start wif our fav subject econs?? yes.
today i wasn't as ignored as much, not lyke yesterday. and we managed to piss her off today. hmmm very interesting. and at e end of e claz i was abt to call my grandma (she called lyke 3-4 times during lesson)...i was still in claz but it finish ready and she looked lyke she was leaving aniwae. den i put e fone to my ear(haven call ar)...den she suddenly said "put down e fone"...i was lyke "i haven call lah"...den she said even more forcefully "put down e fone". i was lyke...fine. fuck it. watever. stupid bitch.
PE was damn lame...we did....FOLK DANCING can u believe? it was dumb. had to hold two guys' hands...and one of dem kept blowing his nose den wipe on his short. wah lau!!!!! can die man!!! so grooosssss...ewww. haha aniwaes it was dis stupid step hop ting. damn lame sia.
i love mrs. chua by the way. gave her the baby booties today. cuteee sia!!!!
den after sch, me, ra, tracy and caroline went all over sch to take fotos. pple were laughing. haha whatever man!!!! it was bloody fun!!!
coming to your screens soon.
THE PEDOPHILE FILES.
Think Blair Witch Project meets When ______ Attacks! This TV show will create an uproar in the nation, exposing the true intentions of a normal looking 50 yr old (or is it more??) woman. Underneath that oily and acne ridden facade, does a pedophile lie dormant, waiting to come alive and at the opportune moment.......attack her unsuspecting victims?!!!!! thrills, chills, horror and disgust lie ahead.
Produced by:
Sutra Jules Co.
Hosted by:
Sufi
With special and exclusive appearances by:
Tracy PHUNG
JuLing
Technical/Special effects supervisor:
Ameera
Music director:
Jucy
Starring:
Hussy/Slut/Bitch/Fornicatress/Whore/Black Buffalo/Fucking witch/etc.
Co-starring:
Delon
Sean
Haur Shen (future President Yong)
COMING SOON!!! DON'T MISS IT!!!!
22:21
Thursday, September 02, 2004
i haf been laughing lyke a mad woman today. many reasons for dis. shall not discuss all as some of them are rather........R rated i guess. lol.
aniwaes first thing dat comes to mind in econs. OH. MY. GOD. hahahahhhahaha. i seriously tink she only hears delon delon delon delon and delon. sean too maybe. her ears are only tuned to delon's voice. and me??? nada, nothing, zilch, zero, NO fucking response from her.
<thoughts>, (reactions)
she: you will be given a revision package...
me: need to pay money ar? <1...haiyer...as usual no ans>(look at tracy and jules who shrug)
she: and it will be ready by saturday...
me: need to pay money ar? <2...why do i even bother...let's try dat again>(at dis pt, we are all very amused)
she: you can collect it...
me: need to pay money ar? <3...what the fuck??? hahahahha>(we're lyke laughing after i say it now)
she: u must turn up for lecture...
me: need to pay money ar? <4....bitch bitch bitch bitch. i'm giving up after dis>(bwahahhahaahhahahha!!! )
she: *says something else...can't rem*
me: need to pay money ar? <5....images of sticking knives...bwahaha> (laughing uncontrollably)
delon (to me): need to pay money? (we're still laughing)
delon (to her): need to pay money ar?
her: NO. (omg!!!!! burst out laughing again. and he looks at us cluelessly. hahahhahaha!!)
one time. he had to ask her one bloody fucking time. hahahhahaha. 5 fucking times i ask...and no answer. i have decided. whatever i hafta say to her i shall tell delon first and toyboy can go pass on the message. hahahhahaa...toyboy...dat raises another funny conversation. but confidential. hahahaa...
oh yah...PE was super funnnn...we played soccer as a claz. and my team (sean, tracy, jules, me, shi yun, liza and ameera) against e other team (comprising of e rez of e claz) and we WON!!!! oh yeah! 4-1 man!! and i scored 2 goals i tink...yah...haha yay!!!! my leg blue black sia. kena kick lah...den sean kick e ball soooo hard and hit my leg. wah damn pain...den i collided wif various members of the claz. e one collision dat was most painful was wif delon. my ear suffered. cos my earring kena pulled. i thot my ear was gonna be pulled off along wif it. yeoooouchhh...but which soccer game got no injuries one...hahha....damn fun sia!! i felt lyke a kid again. woohoo!
first period(sorry lah not blogging in chronological order) was boring. dat mr. ok was speaking sooooo loudly into e mike. i was lyke wat the fuck man?? we can hear you....don't hafta shout!!!!!!!! den i saw delon and sean falling asleep next to me. i was lyke huhhhhh???? u can actually fall asleep when his voice is so fucking loudddd???? practically screaming. i think my eardrums were sooo affected after dat. hahhhahahaha...
gP was fun. we formed into grps. had to pretend we were principals and we made our very own dream school. our school's main aim: equip students with survival skills, give them an all rounded education and focus on character building. how do we do this? farming. lol. cooking. hahahha. learning an aspect of the arts. hahahahhahaahaa...our sch turned out to look lyke hogwarts aniwaes. hahhahaha....and e name of e school? Jufi Traun Line. (JUles, suFI, TRAcy, shi yUN, caroLINE) geddit??? hahhhhahhaha....quite nice. aniwaes e sch was a castle and e farming area got sum kampung houz...hahaha...very cool lah.
haha today was funny. tmrw laz dae of sch till our 1 week break. not really considered a break since i still hafta come to sch for lessons. sheesh. hope we haf a sleepover on mon. will definitely be fun. can't wait. bubbYe!
"need to pay money ar?"
20:53
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
u noe wat...i feel so sad rite now. i went to e photo albums i haf on yahoo and i looked thry e SR claz album...and we all looked so happy. i miss them. i truly do. lol. wish we could meet up again...but i s'pose we're all too busy. hAiz.
to my rawkin cedar claz 4/0...oh man i miss you pple! i miss mr. sim too! i wish i cld haf come see you yest...but i was soo sick. haiz...u pple rock. *muACKz*
to my lovely SR claz 1A04....i love you pple. hope we never forget each other. cos we really had some great times.
to my amazing MJ claz A301...i love you pple too! hope after these 2 years, we keep in touch. hippies rock.
to all the teachers who have ever taught me(even tho dey won't read dis)....mrs. tan, cikgu nora, etc back in pri sch...
my cedar teachers, e form teachers, mr. sim(hope SJI rocks as much as cedar...which i doubt...haha), ms. seah(or mrs. tay...hope ur kid's ok), ms. kumar(god rest your soul), ms. rehana (hope ur studies are going well...)...and other teachers lyke ms. tan, mr. goh, etc, from cedar...
my sRJc teachers, mrs. goon(i will always rem dat e granite from e roads came from e bowels of the earth), ms. rivera, etc....
and my mJ teachers, dr. alfie(u rock), mrs. chua(ur one of e coolest teachers ever. shall visit u in e hospital when u give birth), cikgu rai(u looked awesome during retro day) former pe teacher, ms. pau(ur sooo cute...haha) and our current pe teacher, ms. tan(thanx for being so nice during e puking incident...lol...), and taf teachers, ms. yau(yep thanx for taking care of me during e puking incident too), ms. choy(ur a pretty awesome teacher..thanx for helping us in e standing broad jump...haha...), mr. tang(very cool teacher)...oh yah our former econs tutor, ms. ng(sorry if we made u cry. u were cool.)...yep i tink dat's it. to all of you i wish you:
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY
*my life wouldn't haf been the same without you*
13:03
haha a203...not my claz but dey totally rawked during e competition! woohOO!!
12:47
suhaila, liza and ameera...
12:46
me and suhaila...e guitar image quite cool rite...hahahhaha...
12:46
ra and shushu...sadly shushu not wearing her hippie clothes yet
12:46
ameera and me!!!! peace!!
12:45
i tink i was taking their pic too...haha sorry ameeraaaaa
12:45
alah extra lah u juling!! hahaha...kidding kidding...
12:44
wah our 3 guys...so *handsome*...lol...
12:44
check out e face tattoos man
12:44
look at our claz man!! bollywood hippies!! haha...
12:43
ahhhh retro car!!
12:43
hMm is liza telling the future??
12:42
