Monday, August 30, 2004
oh man i am so fucking sleepy. argh. juz came home and i'm watchin FRIENDS now. dis is one show i cannot miss...omg it is so sad...rachel is leavinG!!!!! aniwaes cos we ended e celebrations so late today, delon and ra are in my room watching FRIENDS too...lyke i said, cannot miss one! LoL...
aniwaes...today has been totally...whoa. well i guess it has to include yesterday since it pretty much seemed lyke one loooooooooong day. haha...lemme see...yesterday, ra, liza, shakir (liza's bf), delon, tracy...
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...
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it's actually monday now. i decided to sleep...haha. so continuing from where i left off...
aniwaes pple mentioned above came to my houz to make peace medallions...damn funny sia. had lots of fun laughing and experimenting some new looks on a certain someone. bwahahaha...aniwaes at lyke 9pm we left(shakir left b4 dat)...liza din join us for e sleepover tho...sad...so it was juz delon, me, ra, tracy and jules...at jules' houz of course.
we played dai dee...delon was all for dat game. hahhaha...quite fun...actually won a few..delon was lyke bragging he was gonna beat all of us. so cocky. hmph. den we watched anastasia...ahhh i love dat movie!!! it was sooo nice. but stupid delon had to inject his own cynical comments...hit him wif dis flower pillow *many* times. hahahha.....aniwaes ra and tracy were crying apparently...yes it was quite sad. and i tink jules kept falling asleep...so yah...hahahhaha...
den we played charades. me and delon VS. tracy, ra and jules. which is totally unfair. cos tracy is a champion guesser. aniwaes dey won 2 games in a row. and we were sooooo lagging behind. but we won e 3rd game! yay! aniwaes we were damn unlucky. e things we had to act out...oh man...dey were all lyke so bloody long while e other team's phrases were 3 words or less. our first one was alreadi so shit...5 DAYS IN PARIS...come on!!!!
but den we delon couldn't get, MY GIRL(got e 'girl' part but not e 'my')...i couldn't get NOT FIT TO HOLD A CANDLE(couldn't get e 'fit'...hahahhaha)...a lot lah. i was laughing soooo much esp when tracy was acting out THE ROBBER BRIDE.hahahhahhaahhah.....delon was lyke "MONSTER BRIDE ar?!!!" hahahahaha...
oh well at least we won one game. haha. we painted nails after dat. i still have e nail polish on. it is sooooo blue. hmm den we played another few rounds of dai dee...i tink. den we went upstairs to bitch about pple. hahhhaa....at first everyone was talking...veri funny stuff said which i will not mention. den jules dropped out. said she wanted to lie down only. i tink she fell asleep at some point. den ra started stoning and went to lie down too. den it was juz tracy, me and delon. so he said we shld sing some songs to stay awake. by this pt, we were all already lying down. hahahha...i tink tracy sang herself to sleep. so only me and delon were left. we heard tracy wheezing and delon started laughing, which made me laugh. stupid idiot. by dis time, jules was awake...and after a while, we stopped talking. i tink delon laughed himself to sleep. and i fell asleep too...minus all e kicking from tracy, maybe i got 20-30 min of sleep. slept:5.30am. woke up: 6am. hahahaha...
aniwaes went for TAF after dat wif tracy. damn diff to get taxi. aniwaes we did and e taxi driver was lyke bragging abt his son and daughter. one graduate wif honours...e other one still in uni...so unfair. i was sitting in front and e rest were lyke stoning and sleeping at e back. so i had to entertain him...sheEsh. but aniwaes e taxi driver was nice. it was juz tooo early in e morning..haha...
we changed to our hippie clothes during recess! sooooo nice. everyone looked soooo cool. den we went barefoot everywhere. fast forward to before the interCG competition. we were lyke taking pictures and practising. sooooo fun man. i love my claz. aniwaes we had e competition. oh man lionel's claz was bloody cool. very funkeh. and aniwaes dey got into e finals. haha...hmm we performed and din win but it was fun, scary, unnerving and cool at e same time. hahha...
aniwaes me and tracy had to rush off to soiree after dat. i was pretty pissed off after a while thanks to e prasaan jambus. lol. they were being bitchy and refused to carry benches...my imagined reasons were dat dey were afraid to break their fucking fingernails or something. stupid.
e whole soiree actually ran smoothly. i hafta thank e guys in blue t shirts...i tink it was e fund raising committee. (or e cip committee...dunno lah) but dey were really helpful. thanks for carrying all e heavy stuff. you guys rock. and it finally ended at 9.30. and after carrying benches back to e canteen i left wif delon and ra. and home sweet home. to watch friends.
"it's because you mean more to me. so there, there's your goodbye"
22:21
Sunday, August 29, 2004
i was juz looking through e messages on my tag board...and i felt a pang of guilt. i s'pose i haven been trying hard enough when it comes to keeping in touch wif old friends. for that, i'm so sorry.
my entries i realised haf always been abt my new claz, my new friends. how much i love A301...how much i love my clazmates...how much fun i haf going out wif dem. and now...i tink...wat abt my old classes? wat about my old friends? haf we really drifted that far apart? haf i been too caught up in my own life...dat......i've become selfish?
i juz realised it's been ages since i last talked to friends from cedar, save for those in mJ...or those few i've managed to actually keep in touch wif. i spent 4 years of my life there...and what now?
den i realised...wat abt the friends i juz separated from 5 months ago? those friends i've made this year...friends that i spent so much time wif, playing pool, hanging out at each other's houses, having chalet...my beloved ex-claz 1A04 in sR...i juz realised i haven talked to them for so long. am i really dat busy, so much so that i can't even say hi to them on msn when i see them? guilt. dat's wat i'm feeling right now. i miss them. i really do. and i feel even more guilty for not doing anything about it. all talk no action...wat kind of a friend am i?
*friends for life..........right?*
13:09
Saturday, August 28, 2004
juz came home...phew i'm soooo tired. haha...but today was damn fun sia.
kay...woke up at 9.30 am...bathed, changed, went to meet d rez. juling was gonna be late so we (tracy, me and jules) reached bugis ard 11+...den met liza and ameera dere. after walking ard a while...we decided to go makan at LJS...rite so i've never eaten dere EVER before...and dey were finding it hard to believe.....ameera was lyke WHAT WHAT WHAT??? hahah rite...so delon joined us and he couldn't believe i've never eaten LJS before either! i'm lyke whatever lah...haha...is it so wrong to have never eaten dere before??? hahaha....den suhaila came too after dat...
den we went to bugis village again...and showed delon e shirt we wanted to buy for him...walk walk walk walk walk summore...buy stuff...i bought dis skirt which is soooo flowy and has very earthly colours...it's actually kinda cool. den we walk walk walk walk...soooooo bloody hot sia! i was lyke sweating so much...phew...
hMm den ard 2 or 3, ra and caroline joined us...den bought their stuff...oh ya we bumped into soooo many mJ pple...i tink e sellers dere really made a lot of money from mJ today...hahahaha...hMm den ard 3+, ameera and suhaila left...and we finally left bugis village at lyke 4...den tracy and juling had to leave. den only me, ra, caroline, liza and delon were left. hMm...den sean came, stayed for a little while and left.
and after dat, we went to tamp...on e way dey were telling ghost stories...sum ended up being funny instead...haha...den wen we reached tamp we went toys'r'us...it's so much smaller now! walk ard a while...tried to find peace symbols but was damn ex...shEEsh...so decided to go spotlight to buy stuff to make e necklaces instead.
hahahhaha...instead of buying stuff we sat down in one corner to talk...haha...it was so funny. we were talking abt all sorts of things...but one part dat stuck in my mind was when we talked about accidents...wif BICYCLES *ahem ahem*...and breaking arms *AHEM AHEM*...getting legs hit by cars...getting heads hit by speeding cyclists...rolling down e stairs wif bicycles...hahahhaha...a lot lah! and it was bloooody funnny!!!! we were laughing lyke mad idiots...esp at a certain *sumone*'s story which involved bicycle brakes and broken arms...hahahhahahhahahhahhahaa!!
oh man...my stomach really hurt from laughing and my jaw was damn painful...hahaha...it was really funny lah...haha...love my claz man...hMm and now i'm home! wat a day!!!! my feet are killing me...and 30 bucks gone on clothes...but all worth it. had lots and lots and lots of fun...and lots of laughing...hahahaha....
looking forward to LOVE MERIDIAN DAY...hmmm can't wait to see e whole claz in e hippie clothes. e guys are gonna look great (e shirts we chose were really nice) and e girls are gonna look sooooo awesome! hahaha...
*bicycle brakes and broken arms*
21:31
Friday, August 27, 2004
man sometimes i feel lyke time passes so quickly...yet it's so slow. lyke u wish time would juz pass faster and n u try to rem something which u tink happened ages ago...but actually only happened yest...haiz...
watchin "performin as" now...e woman who became barbara streisand won...she shld lah...she looks exactly lyke her...haha....
i'm juz so tired rite now...i dunno why...i haven been getting sleep for e past few days...juz can't seem to...damn it. aniwaes...i tink i'll update on everythin dat's been happenin tmrw...cos i'm goin out and i can put in an entry all about it! hahhaa...k tata!
21:01
Sunday, August 22, 2004
it was ameera's 2nd bdae party juz now...she's so cute i tell you...she was lyke screaming and laughing when she saw me...ahhh i lurve her! haha...not a lot of pple were dere at dat time...lin, ida, mama...den kakak ta came wif da family...den i found out azfar's family came too...haha...din even noe dey were coming...oh well...
den it was sooooo cute...ameera was lyke hugging dem and trying to kiss them on e cheek! ahhh so cuteeee!!! hahahaha...wish i had a camera to take e pic...my god if she were older, she would be totally coming on to dem! but she's only 2 so she can get away wif anything! hahaha...it was sooooo funny...
i borrowed lin's jet cd...ah i love jet. dey rock. haha...today has been a really great day. a real contrast to yesterday...oh well life isn't perfect.
i felt numb to everything. felt numb to the world, to my friends, to myself.
sometimes i wish the numbness would just swallow me whole. i wish it would just take me away from everything.
a knife wif jagged edges. stab and twist.
00:22
Saturday, August 14, 2004
hMm...today has been pretty ok i guess...had school in the morning...geog test and lecture...i'm so gonna fail the test man...haha...
den after dat some of dem went to macs while i went home. i was totally broke lah...how to go? ahha...but i did go out after dat wif dee...went orchard...saw the dance marathon ting. it was kinda pathetic...the music was super soft cos it was juz one radio and e space given to us was tiny. hahaha...and dey danced to the same 3 songs...it was kinda lame but i tink e pple there had fun...
we watched CATWOMAN...storyline was shit. but halle berry was fucking hot. haha...and benjamin bratt was as well...yummy...aniwaes halle berry has an amazing figure man...and she looked totally awesome in leather. hahhahahha...she's forever been in my top 10 list of amazingly hot/chio/etc. artistes.
the list includes...halle berry, jessica alba, liv tyler, jennifer garner, etc...can't really remember rite now...haha...
of course dere's d top 10 totally hot/sexy/yummy/etc. guys list too...and duh brad pitt is at the top. haha...den dere's josh hartnett, orlando bloom, will smith, etc...haha...
i suddenly thot to myself...sometimes tings can be so meaningless...sometimes relationships can be so strained...why do pple try so hard to make something work?
once again i am your punching bag, when you're feeling annoyed,
why do i have to put up with all this shit,
why do we still carry on?
do you seriously think the world revolves around you?
just open your eyes and take a good look around...
you're not the only one who's having problems now,
not the only one with a fucked up life,
you're not the only one whose family has just died,
not the only one who lays down in bed and cry,
not the only one who can't sleep at night,
not the only one.
oh well...i'm feeling a little sleepy now......think i shall go sleep.
oh ya...whoever dis hMm character who keeps tagging is...reveal yourself if ur my fren as u say u are. DON'T BE A LOSER. seriously.
23:31
Thursday, August 12, 2004
i'm in the library now...it's a free period...haiz malay after dis man...
aniwaes we were playing charades juz now...were s'posed to haf lit but ms rehana din come again...and we had to stay in the claz until bell ring...so we played charades to pass e time..aniwaes it was super fun.
some of e phrases/titles/words we gave were super lammmmeeeee...haha esp delon's LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS...which tracy had to act out sadly...haha...and sean's stupid HYDROELECTRICAL POWER...haha i mean come on man....but it was bloody fun man...haha...i had to act out INDIANA JONES:TEMPLE OF DOOM! haha damn funny...delon had to act out TURNING BACK TO YOU...he kept spinning and spinning...hhahahaha...shushu had to act out PANDA BEAR...haha...funny lah...tmrw jules gonna bring her charades game...so much funnn!!!
haha aniwaes...after playing charades...i started thinking how related it was to life...i mean in charades, you try so hard to make someone understand what you're acting out...and it gets frustrating when they don't after a long time...but when they do, you feel relieved...i s'pose it's the same in life. you try so hard to make people understand your actions and what you say....you try so hard and yet they never understand...and when they don't, all you want to do is give up. drop everything and just stop trying...
and yet if you persevere...and people finally get you...is it the same with charades? do you know when someone finally understands you...finally truly knows u? would you ever know? and sometimes it makes me wonder...has anyone understood me yet? and if they did...did i haf the same feeling of relief like in charades?
truth is...i feel that no one can really understand another person...no one can really truly know someone...even if someone pours out his/her heart and soul into a blog...no one can truly understand him/her...because we're not the same. we're all different...how can we truly know each other? den it brings me to dis question...do we know ourselves? we should, shouldn't we? but...do we really?
who am i?
14:34
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
haha wasn't offline for veri long ar...i changed cpu...temporary...haha...whatever as long as i haf my computer back! w/o e songs and e pics and stuff tho...sad...
i suddenly heard dis malay song i haven heard for a super looooong time. haha...it's one of my fav malay songs ever...out of e few i listen to...hAha. it's isabella 98...so i guess it's lyke 6 yrs old...haha...
ISABELLA 98
Isabella adalah
Kisah cinta dua dunia
Mengapa kita berjumpa
Namun akhirnya terpisah
Siang jadi hilang
Ditelan kegelapan malam
Alam yang terpisah
Melenyapkan sebuah kisah...
Terbayang lambaianmu
Salju terbakar kehangatan
Dunia di penuhi
Warna berseri bunga cinta
Kita yang terlena
Hingga musim berubah
Mentari menyepi
Bernyalalah api cinta
Dia Isabella
Lambang cinta yang lara
Terpisah kerana
Adat yang berbeza
Cinta gugur bersama
Daun daun kekeringan...
Haluan hidupku
Terpisah dengan Isabella
Tapi aku terpaksa
Demi cintaku Isabella
Moga dibukakan
Pintu hatimu untukku
Akan terbentang jalan
Andainya kau setia
Oh! Isabella....
haha it's so nice i tell u...
aniwaes went out wif anu today...we were s'posed to watch e village...but she fell down at e escalator and all e mood was gone...haha...we wanted to eat popeye's at changi airport...but couldn't find it...so ate mcdonalds instead.
den went to orchard for sum reason *ahem ahem* (to anu)...and we met her frens, cheryl and daphne...who are...er...ok lah...haha....
tmrw got sch...hAiz...dun wanna go man...but forced to...luckily dis week is short too...haha...hMm shall go download some songs now...bubbYe.
21:29
Sunday, August 08, 2004
my computer crashed. damn it.
i'm at juling's houz now...supposedly having pw meeting...it was actually pretty productive. haha...
delon is now playing ringtones...previously taking pics of himself wif his camera fone...
juling is listening to e ringtones...
i'm bored. i want my comp back.
heLp.
ameera left sometime ago...to go for citibank youth for causes ting...hahaha....
i had breakfast wif fariza juz now....while waiting for delon and ameera...both came late...but delon was extra idiotic. when i called him at 9.50...e time we were supposed to meet...he juz woke up. damn him.
oh well...no comp for now...haiz...
bubbYe.
15:06