interhouz bowling was awesome fun man! i tink my voice is gone, my fingers crippled, my arm painful...but omg it was soooo much fun! it totally rawked! ok...PHOBOShad lyke two girls' teams....all of e pple from our claz! haha...me, tracy, caroline and juling in one team...and shushu, suhaila, ameera and rathika on e other team. and e stupid bowling captain or whoever who typed out e list of pple participating messed up my name man!
I was the leader of my team summore and my name was bolded on e list! instead of SUFIANA...e guy put SUFRAMA! i was lyke wat e fuck?! hahahhaha...den tracy's name oso...instead of tracy PHUA.,..it was tracy PHUNG...so funny! hahaha...
aniwaes we were so bloody enthu man...we were lyke cheering and clapping so loudly even if we din get strikes or spares.... haha and we did dis jiggle wiggle cheer at e end of e whole ting but couldn't finish it...cos it was so bloody funny! we all collapsed laughing man! hahahahah....oh man...i lurve my claz! A301 ROCKS!!!! even if we dun win...we're still e best man! we still rocks! if dey had an award for most enthu houz...we would definitely win! hahahaha....bowling rules! alrighty...shall go sleep or sumthin...haha so early...nitEzzz! oh well i'm home now...and i'm sooo tired...dun feel lyke going to sch tmrw man...haha...
22:26
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
sometimes life throws you the biggest surprises in the smallest forms. and sometimes you feel lyke life is juz one big joke. the pple around you are one big joke. and most of all, you feel lyke the biggest joke ever.
Emotionless, unfeeling,
Empty inside,
Death is comforting,
Painful but welcomed,
Wanted,
Needed.
Life, it's just four words,
Why bother with it?
Why revel in it?
Why live it?
It will fade,
Just like a flame,
Only, less exciting,
Less interesting,
Less, just less,
Birth, life, death,
Born to die.
sometimes i feel like being alone. solitude. without friends. without family. without anyone. without anything. just me.
just me.
22:05
Saturday, July 24, 2004
oooh...today was cool...i pierced my ear again! haha...actually i only wanted one...but e guy who pierced my ear and my grandma were lyke pierce twice lah...e piercer fella said "dun waste e other ear stud lah"...haha...my grandma was lyke save money lah...pierce twice...haha...crazy man...so i did pierce twice...on e same ear...so i got 4 piercings in a row and one at e top...which still stings lyke mad rite now. i will never forget wat my grandma said when she saw my ear.
it was super red cos of e piercing at e top...and she said it looked lyke a PRAWN. i was lyke laughing so much...hahaha...funny lah. it's so unbalanced...haha...dere's lyke 3 on one side and 5 on e other...and every single time i pierced my ear, it was e same guy who pierced it. tradition lah...haha...i won't let anyone else poke holes into my ears.
i actually pierced 5 times ready...1st time when i was in pri 2...but it closed up...haha...infection ar...damn pain man. den my 2nd time was in june 2000...3rd in nov 2001...4th in june 2003 and e 5th today! 24 July 2004! woohOo...i tink i won't pierce anymore lah...haha...
i'm watchin dis bahas on suria now...temasek jc VS tampines jc...i tink e 1st speaker of tJ was pretty gd...e rez lyke a bit shaky at first...but all of dem wow man...haf to memorise their speeches...cOoL sia...haha...
oh man...my ear feels lyke it's on fire...i accidentally hit it...haha...stupid stupid stupid...adoi! haha...
oh well...shall go watch e bahas now...very interestin actually...i tink tJc will win...super convincing sia...haha...okies bubbYe.
21:07
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
hMm my grades for MYE:
Econs: F Geog: E Lit: C
not bad considering i din study...oh well...i'll prob haf to work harder for promos...shEesh. which is in 55 days...my sch is super lame...dey dedicated a whole noticeboard juz for a countdown to promos. hAiz. yes remind us why dun u...
i lost my wallet last thur...and i've been checking e office every single dae to see if anyone found it. tracy tinks someone stole it...not entirely untrue...it is a possibility...pe teachers were advising us to keep our belongings properly cos dere haf apparently been numerous thefts...coincidence? haiz...dunno man...
i spent e weekend burning cds...i was lyke on a high or sumthin...i burned lyke 200 songs into 10 cds...haha...tok about enthusiasm! but aniwaes i had to do dis jotterbook ting for gp where we had to put in articles...gif comments, stuff lyke dat...and so i decided to decorate it...made this cover wif good charlotte, blink 182, avril lavigne, sum 41, eminem...dis pic of the coolwater bottle...i tink it's really nice...haha...
den i was inspired to decorate my room...so i went out to buy huge pieces of paper and pasted posters and stuff of dem...den pasted it on my bare wall...now it's super nice...hAha...why not juz paste e posters demselves on e walls? cos my dad dun allow lah...says e paint will peel off or sumthin...so i used foam tape for e paper...haha...not enuff to use for each individual poster...
hMm...today we got back our pw evaluation and i was amused by my evaluation...apparently i'm e 'quiet member'. hahahahha...truth is, i'm stoning most of e time and too lazy to say anythin...haha...oh well...
i haf a lit test tmrw sadly...i only knew abt it an hour ago...maybe less...hAiz...i haven even touch e text for dis test...shit man.
oh well...i shall go read UTOPIA now...i've got thru 10 pgs...got another 100....yay. haha...bubbYe.
22:06
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
hmm i got back most of my papers...haha wow man.
econs i failed...not even an AO pass...haha 31/100...damn it. my whole claz failed aniwaes...highest was AO pass i tink. haha...
gEog actually i failed lah...but den mrs chua so nice gave me one more mark so i can pass...woOhoOo. so i haf an A level pass and a Fail...haha..
my gP and maLay juz pass man...shit. haha. oh well i'm too lazy to type anythin...juz too tired...haha...
ohhh aniwaes i did cip yest at a certain lib...and i was supremely irritated by e security guard who worked dere. if dere's one word to describe him it would be W-O-L-S man! hahha...tracy reached dere 1st and she alreadi put her bag in e staffroom (we're s'posed to) and i wanted to put my bag dere too. so we went to the staffroom entrance and e security guard (shall refer to him as Wols from now on) was dere. so we told Wols we wanted to go inside and he was lyke why? so e conversation went something lyke dis:
Us: I want to put my bag inside.
Wols: For what?
Us: Cos we're doing CIP here and we're s'posed to keep our bag inside.
Wols: SO you wanna go in?
Us: Yah.
Wols: You want to go in? For what?
(i was pretty exasperated at dis pt.tracy had been doing most of e talking while i juz stood dere getting irritated)
Us: We're doing CIP here and we're supposed to put our bags inside. i came here b4 and i did dat.
Wols: CIP?
Us: Yes.
Wols: You're volunteers?
Us: Yes. (i tink at dis pt numerous curses were running thru my mind)
Wols: And you want to go in?
Us: Yes (you fucking idiot)
And so it continued until:
Wols: Oh ok go in den.
i have never met a slower person in my whole entire life! come on! and dat wasn't our last meeting wif him. e next time was after e storytelling session(s'posed to help out in dat) ended and e kids were s'posed to be given these passbooks. aniwaes dere wasn't enuff so we were s'posed to find dis other security guard...malay guy...a lot nicer den Wols.
aniwaes he got Wols to gif us e passbooks and he asked us how many. we din noe so he said 5 enuff? den i was lyke ok lah whatever.
and he counted 5 passbooks so antagonisingly slowly dat i thot if i went on a holiday and came back he would still be counting. so aniwaes when e other security guard came he was abt to hand us the 5 passbooks.
den e malay security guard said enuff anot? here take summore lah. den he grabbed a stack of passbooks and juz handed it to us.i was lyke cheering silently inside. respect man! hahaha...
aniwaes after dat tracy was using e hp in e lib and Wols spotted her. she was on e fone when he said:
Wols: Ah you volunteer...u noe u not s'posed to use hp in e library? Volunteer summore.
den tracy brushed him off(yay!) and walked away to finish e call. hahahhahahha....Wols deserves it man! ok i'm not entirely bitchy...his slowness could be cos he's new. but whatever. he got on my nerves. hmph.
oh i juz finished readin a bk by Jill Mansell..,.it's called Mixed Doubles. it rocks! woot...i love dis author. hahha...ok shall go read another one of her bks. taTa.
22:34
Friday, July 09, 2004
oh man my whole body is aching...hAha...shld haf stretched b4 PE man! hahaha...went out wif tracy and caroline yest...to tm only lah...were s'posed to go orchard but we were all too tired...hAd PE dat day aniwaes...
we took neoprints twice...damn funny man! i was on e bus looking at the neoprints den i started laughing to myself. i tink some pple thot i was crazy...hAhahaha...
do u noe i slept at 10 yest??? i was sooo sleepy and tired i actually fell asleep. i can't believe it...i mean it usually takes a lot of effort for me to sleep...i was so happy i fell asleep yest!!! hahhaaha...
oh tmrw's jaslin's bdae...so we bought a cake and celebrated it today after PE....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASLIN!!!!!
haha...today dr. alfi said i couldn't wear hoop earrings...i was lyke huh? i've been wearing dem for a super long time lah...she nv said anythin...and i had a whole row of teachers sitting behind me during e talk (i shall mention later) and dey din even say anything about dem...i tink one of dem even on e discipline comm...hahahaha...funny sia.
oh yes...e talk...it was a sex talk..on STDs and stuff...so funny...e vid clips dey showed us...hahaha...we laughed lyke mad at certain pts...hAhahhaa...
aniwaes my mom is calling me to go makan...bubbYe!
21:31
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
rite i'm finally back home now! ahhh...today was a very slow day...i felt lyke crap cos my head hurt...den i took 2 panadol and i felt sleepy for e whole day...my head hurt less after dat tho...
aniwaes yest i went to orchard wif fariza and ama...had fun walking ard, makan, play pool! which i haven done for a super long time! hahaha...den went to buy donuts and M&Ms for e movie i was gonna watch later wif my family...
oh aniwaes some guy for toni n guy(is dat e name of e hairdresser's? haha) followed us from e shop all e way to hmv juz to say he wanted to cut my hair for free...for some demo thing...but aniwaes i rejected cos i had to go for movie...sHeesh...weirDO man!
haha watched spider-man 2 again! WoOhhOOO! i love dat movie...e special effects are amazing! and of course my fav scene...e train scene! hahahha...
feeling so sleepy man! i tink i shall sleep now...tata!
17:19
Saturday, July 03, 2004
haf u ever woken up and felt that today was gonna be one of the worst days of your life? well i did and my gut feeling was correct...i had a fucking shit day...and i was in a crappy mood all day.
i fought wif my dad again...reasons will remain un-named. and i got so bloody pissed off dat i locked myself in e room for e next hour...den i decided to go out and stay out for a few hours to calm down.
i went to e park and was totally blind to everythin ard me. i found a more secluded area and just sat down, staring at e disgustingly dirty sea. i was just so pissed off wif everything...and i felt lyke my life was totally screwed up.
den when i was walking again, these stupid mats who were playing soccer hit my head wif e ball. under other circumstances i would haf found it seriously funny but i was so fucking pissed off dat i almost punched e guy who took e ball from me. he was lyke laughing and saying sorry but i just gave him a glare dat stopped him laughing. i swear if looks could kill, he would haf dropped dere rite den. he muttered another sorry and i stalked off, not caring if he hated me for e rest of my life. fuck him.
i came home ard 5 and locked myself in my room again. i've been in here since. i feel an immense hate for my father. i feel lyke he's a stranger...and i find my days are best wen's he not ard...wen he goes to abroad. den my life is seriously peaceful...it used to be even better wen e maid wasn't around...of course e bloody maid was my dad's idea.
den i would spend e dae alone, doing watever i wanted. now i can't. but at least it's better wen he's not at home.
he's no. 1 on my 'pple i'm most detached wif' list. he truly is. and he's my father. e guy who's known me all my life. e guy who is part of me. and i hate him. how ironic. sometimes i wonder....does that mean i hate myself? wen i haf fights wif him, does it mean i'm fighting wif something within myself?
fuck everything. life is full of shit.
sometimes i think death can be comforting...possibly mine.
19:02
Friday, July 02, 2004
my exams finished today! yayyy!!!!
omg i watched spider-man 2! i love tobey maguire! hahaha...he's so cute in his nerdy way and wat a body!!!! ahH!!! i went out wif anu, dee, louise, nurul and her fren, jasmine...i can't stop tinkin abt spider-man lah...hAhahahha...i feel lyke watchin it again!
dere's dis one part in e train where e pple was passing him ard...you'll noe wat i mean when u watch e movie...i dun wanna tell u everything! hahha...and dat part was so touchin i felt lyke crying...i tink i did...a little aniwaes. hahhhaa...i love dis movie! it's soo cOol...and e effects...wOOOOOw!
aniwaes i bumped into sooooooo many pple i noe! hahaha...ex clazmates...orchard was swarming wif jc pple...from mJ, vJ, sA esp, aC, nY...a lot lah...haha...and i kept having to stop every once in a while to say hi to sumone! hahaha i miss my ex clazmates man!
i tink i bumped into....soumya, zhiqi, huiyan, gina, germaine, lauren, nata, whye keat, alamak a lot lah! hahaahaa so good to see dem again man! dere was dis guy at heeren wif his first shirt unbuttoned halfway and he was lyke talking to himself...it was kinda creepy....hAha...
we walked soooo much today...my feet ache...haha...but it was super fun! i love going out wif juz girls...it's so fun...you can tok abt anything and everything...i miss everyone back in cedar lah...e teachers also...hAiz...
i love spider-man did i mention?!!!hahhahahha...can't wait for e next part! everyone u hafta catch dat movie!!!!!! it is awesome! and e soundtrack rocks too!
19:33
Thursday, July 01, 2004
k i had my practical criticism (lit) paper in e morning today and my malay paper in e afternoon. i did both papers in LT 5 and my neck, back hurt lyke mad after dat...esp e malay paper cos it was 3 bloody hours long! sheEsh...
aniwaes after lit paper we had lyke 3 hours to kill so we went to my houz to watch MY GIRL...e thai movie...it is sooo nice...so sweet lah...hAha delon was complaining all e way...saying he was gonna die of hunger or somethin...hAhahaha...den after dat got lyke no mood to do malay...haIz...
both papers were okay i s'pose...haha yay only 1 more paper tmrw! shit us lit students so sad...hafta haf an exam for an extra day...haiz...but after dat...SPIDER-MAN 2!!!! wooOt! hahaha...a bit mad lah...i bought lime today...so interestin...all sorts of stuff lah...hAha...wokay shall go read shakespeare or sumthin...cos i'm havin dat paper tmrw...oK tata!
23:00
the girl.
Sufi
Family is my heart
Friends are my oxygen
Having fun is my passion
Music is my soul
